A college-aged woman, CAVEGIRL, sits on an unmade bed, staring off into space. NORMAL PERSON enters the room and frowns.
NORMAL PERSON: You look… downtrodden today.
NORMAL PERSON: Why so glum?
CAVEGIRL: (sighs) I worked so hard for that linear algebra class and I got a 107.4% on the final! And a 99.4% overall score in the class! Can you believe it? And guess what? I still didn’t get an A+! After all of that effort… everything has gone to waste!
NORMAL PERSON: Yeah, yeah. Can we play Lego Harry Potter now? I’m Hermione. You can be Hagrid.
CAVEGIRL and NORMAL PERSON exit.
CAVEGIRL and NORMAL PERSON enter the room and settle into office chairs, facing each other across the table. The floor on CAVEGIRL’s side of the room is strewn with mud-streaked woolen socks; NORMAL PERSON’S side of the room is pristine.
CAVEGIRL: I finally got my grade back from The Voldemort Lab practical exam.
NORMAL PERSON: Hmph.
CAVEGIRL: Guess how I did!
NORMAL PERSON: A hundred, I bet. (grumbles incoherently)
CAVEGIRL: Nope. Lower!
NORMAL PERSON: Ninety-nine, then.
NORMAL PERSON: Eighty-nine.
NORMAL PERSON: Seventy-nine?
NORMAL PERSON: (eyes wide) Cavegirl! Sixty-five?
CAVEGIRL: (smirking) Lower.
NORMAL PERSON: (screaming) CAVEGIRL!!! You – no, REALLY? You fail – no – are you jok – WHY ARE YOU STILL SMILING?
CAVEGIRL: Because the pass mark is 60. The scores were historically low this year. And I passed with four points to spare! So chill.
NORMAL PERSON: (muttering) I wish I was in… (incoherent)… medical school. You get to… (incoherent)… Pass No Pass! While I’m stuck here… (incoherent)… A’s and B’s and C’s! Grmph.
CAVEGIRL blows NORMAL PERSON a kiss. NORMAL PERSON scowls and vanishes into thin air, leaving a dark glass screen where her chair used to be. CAVEGIRL exits.